Category Archives: Uncategorized

Stop Doing This

Cut this shit out, you buggy routines. You’re doing the thing. Don’t do the thing. Idiots.

doing the thing


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New Floods Song to Celebrate Yet Another Year as Shining Paragons of Human Endeavor!

That’s right. It’s time for our yearly post! And what better way to commemorate the occasion than with some soundcloud webjunk from a middle-aged rapper? This freebie is for you, beloved, in gratitude for another enchanting, fruitful year of faith and devotion to your Tempest & Brolly™ Brand Luxury Contraband.



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Floods – Tentacles of Abraxas Now Streaming on Soundcloud

You can now listen to Barfly‘s full length solo effort released in 2015 under the moniker Floods. The album is called Tentacles of Abraxas and originally accompanied first edition copies of Barfly’s novel Winding Up Strangers in Bars.

The largely sample free full length showcases Barfly’s songwriting and represents a stark departure from the sardonic humor of his early work. If you enjoy the album and want to support the artist, there are links to purchase below.




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The Banality of Evil: An Occasional Column by Barfly

This morning a strange man rapped at my door. He came in navy blue peddling financial products. I admit I was given pause by this emulation of concern for the future of my wealth. Normally I would have just waved him along. I usually counterfeit my money-it’s much easier than actually making it. This day, however, I had questions.

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New Floods Shirts in the Store


Ayy. New skins to customize your chassis.

Click here to order

Also, the Floods album Tentacles of Abraxas is now available for download on iTunes, Amazon and the rest of that lot.

More to come in 2017.

Thank you for holding us in your heart forever and all time. Your online safe space,

Templars & Barley™

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New Items in Store


Well would you look at this? Your weird exes, Candy’s .22 just came out of nowhere with a new t-shirt and short run CD-R full of songs they’ve featured on, some b-sides and a few other rarities. Plus, it’s super cheap! At these crazy prices, everbody’s getting pregnant!

Click here to order now!

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Happy Valentines Day from your Kind Uncles at Tempest & Brolly™

Insure a successful courtship with these thoughtful valentines cards, compliments of your one stop shop for everything worth while on this celestial backwater.

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